July 22nd, 2006
After last nights Home Run Derby, and in honor of Kason Gabbard’s major league debut today at 4:05 (vs Feliz Hernandez), we are going to count down the 9 weirdest/goofiest names in baseball…here we go…
9. Tie: Mark Grudzielanek (2B, Royals), Doug Mientkiewicz (1B, Royals) and Jason Isringhausen (P, Cardinals): I bet all 3 of these guys could not spell their names until they were about 17. Imagine this: (and I am only using Mark as an example, any of the 3 names can be substituted.)
Cute girl: “Hi, what’s your name?”
Mark Grudzielanek: “Mark Grudzielanek”
Cute girl: Gesundheit Mark! What’s your last name?
8. Coco Crisp (CF, Sox): Hate the cereal, love the player…and yes, he is a better player than Skeezy Bastard…
7. Milton Bradley (RF, Oakland): From the makers of the Monopoly and The Ouija Board, we give you the cranky right fielder!
6. Ty Taubenheim (P, Toronto): Doesn’t this name sound like a name that should be said with a southern drawl, with a piece of straw hanging out of your mouth?
5. Taylor Tankersley (P, Marlins): See: Ty Guggeheim above–and the “double TT” guys cannot even attribute their names to cultural differences–they were both born in the West! (No surprise there) Yeeee Haw!!!!!!!!!!
4. Kason Gabbard (P, Sox): If this list is in his honor, doesn’t he have to be on it? I think that is a law or something…and watch, his father’s name is “Jason” and his mother’s name is “Kate” or something like that. Or, he the long lost son of Roger Clemens…
3. Ambiorix Burgos (P, Royals): Even if my son COULD write with both hands, I would not NAME him ambidextrous…its just weird….
2. Tie: Yhency Brazoban (P, Dodgers), Yorvit Torrealba (C, Colorado), and Yuniesky Betancourt (SS, Seattle): I don’t even think I KNOW anyone with their name beginning with a “Y”, here are three, all pretty strange…
1. Chone Figgins (3B, Angels): Now supposedly, this is an alternate spelling for Shawn…Nope, looks like “Chone” to me. But in the interest of fairness, people can spell their name anyway they see fit–and from now on “Cjhfsdjahfkhdluasyudhfjh37623jhjkhefjklshdsafajkhxdfse” is now how I would like my first name spelled…and it’s pronounced Christine…
Honorable Mentions: Cesar Izturis (2B,Dodgers), Rheal Cormier (P, Phillies), Melky Cabrera (CF, Yankees), Jimmy Gobble (P, Kansas), Chase Utley (2B, Phillies), JJ Putz (P, Seattle Mariners)
One thing I noticed on my quest of the strangest names? How many of them are pitchers…Do you think that when they were born, their Mom looked at their Dad and said “Let’s name our son something really goofy, because someday, I want him to be a Major League Pitcher..” hmmm, do ya think?
And 1 off topic comment: Skanks lost last night! Can we say 3.5 games behind???