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  • June 7th, 2006

    June 7, 2006: Red Sox and Skankees: Can’t win if you don’t play!

    Posted by Christine E. at 11:47 pm in General No Comments

    The worst thing about playing the Skankees (besides they fact that they are, well, the Skankees) is the fact that actually watching this bunch makes me physically sick to my stomach. Here are a few reasons why:

    Johnny Damon: Skeezy Bastard…’nuf said

    Derek Jeter: Have you ever seen anyone who is more PRECIOUS?? He’s the Yankee CAP-TEN! His whole putting the hand up to the ump before every swing he takes is enough to send me over the edge–and lets not forget when a pitch comes by him he does that stupid thing with his body…and what about that pumping motion he does with his arm when he’s excited? What do we think THAT looks like? He is just so GOOD and PURE! Ugh…he is like the little kid in school whom all the adults thought was PERFECT. We had one of them at my school–he’s dead now…

    Jason Giambi: Every time he hits a home run, I pray for modern science to PLEASE create a blood/urine test that can detect all types of steroids/growth hormones/pigeon tranquilizer…And WHAT THE F**K was up with that “comeback player of the year” award he won last year???? The man CHEATED, got caught, crashed and burned (I liked the parasite the best myself…) apologized a lot, but never said what he was apologizing FOR–and then started doing better again, which I would not be surprised if it was linked to some sort of garbage they just cannot test for, and they give him an AWARD???? Hello????

    Alex Rodriquez: I once heard it said that “A-Rod is so earnest its painful”…he hits a single, and he starts clapping and hooting like it’s a homerun–and what about the way the runs, the whole practically kicking himself in the ass thing–what is up with that? And never says anything that even remotely sounds sincere…and, I see the lipstick has been changed to a lovely light pink, rather than the purple he wore last season…and don’t even get me started on that life coach that has called him everyday for the last 15 years or whatever…what an idiot…

    Jorge Posada: Every time he shows up on the screen, my fiance’ starts talking in a whiny “Ross from Friends” voice. Where do we begin to talk about “georgie”? WHY people ever thought he was a better catcher than Jason Varitek is still a mystery to me…The man BROKE HIS NOSE this year, playing catch…uh…dumbass…you’re a CATCHER…sometimes I think he would do better if he had a trout net out there, rather than a glove. And, maybe he should ask for a raise, ’cause he is in desperate need of a chin…

    Gary Sheffield: Whoever told him the skintight pants were a good look…they lied…The crazy waving bat thing he does (I never liked it when Kevin Millar did it either) is annoying, and he looks like he escaped from Rikers. He is also malcontent who cannot, for the life of him, keep his mouth shut. The one time that was helpful is during the 2004 ALCS, when we were down 0-3 and he starts going off about how the Red Sox were a disaster…Hey, mental giant, didn’t anyone ever teach you to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT and do not kick a dog when its down??? If there was an award for baseball player most likely to be a mass murderer–here’s your man.

    Tomorrow night, same match up: Schilling vs. Wright…maybe the day off will do us good!

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